Wipe that chagrin off your face.

Things are getting intense in the latter chapters of Twilight. Bella Swan is being chased by an evil "tracker" vampire named James who is determined to catch her and violently suck her blood until she is dead. So, naturally, I'm quite concerned about the fact her 104-year-old boyfriend has been, without her knowledge, sneaking into her room at night to watch her sleep.

As obsessed as Bella is with Edward Cullen, you would think that the fact her vampire beau has been sneaking into her room to watch her sleep would be a deal-breaker, or at the very least a tremendous red flag. Edward justifies his actions by asking her "What else is there to do at night?" You can just imagine the tough talk the obviously furious Bella dresses him down with:

"'You spied on me?' But somehow I couldn't infuse my voice with the proper outrage. I was flattered."

There was a brief period on Friends when Chandler was living with a psycho named Eddie. There was a memorable episode in which Chandler woke up in his bedroom to find Eddie sitting in a chair beside him, watching him sleep. Obviously, Chandler freaked out and immediately set about permanently removing Eddie from the apartment. I would consider that a perfectly understandable and quite necessary reaction.

I do not, however, consider "I was flattered" to be an understandable reaction.

Not only that, but Edward still thinks Bella is overreacting: "His expression shifted instantly to chagrin ... 'Don't be upset!' he pleaded. He dropped his face to the level of my eyes, holding my gaze. I was embarrassed. I tried to look away."

Are you kidding me? What on earth is wrong with these people? I've been married for a few years now to a woman I've known for a decade, and I would find it a bit strange if my wife was regularly watching me sleep. Bella hasn't known Edward very long and she's 87 years younger than him. This vampire story has just taken a turn for the creepy, and not the awesome, horror-movie kind of creepy that one would hope for in a blood-sucker tale. This is creepy in a To Catch a Predator kind of way.

I'm almost done with the book now, but as I write this I'm staring at the tall stack of books in the Twilight series left to be read, and I'm scared of what I might end up having to read in the name of writing a good blog. I've got to say that my mindset is shifting to chagrin.